Waiting on Sister Hand and Foot

Published on May 29, 2012 by Tulan in Outdoors

Honey, y’all know what a pain in the butt Sister is when everything is going good, but y’all don’t know the half of it when she’s sick. She is the hardest woman to wait on that you ever did see. I just hope y’all don’t never get so unlucky and have to wait on a sister hand and foot. It ain’t no picnic. They can make you want to jerk then out of bed for a good shaking. I’m just thankful Sister is better and I can wash my hands of all her contrariness. My nerves just wont take no more. I told Roy, I said Roy, don’t you look crossways at me till I get my nerves settled. I might just have to smack your jaws. And child, I might.

Honey I want to tell you that Sister has been the contrariest thing you ever did see. She has worn me down to a nub. She’s had me running here and yon trying to keep her satisfied, and child I can’t do it. A sick sister is something you don’t ever want to put up with. You just can’t please them, child there ain’t no way. Pore old Sister. I don’t want to bad mouth nobody, but she could have a little respect for her Sister that’s waiting on her hand and foot. but no, not Sister. She wants this and then she wants that. You can’t please somebody that wont be pleased. I could hand her the moon on a platter and she would still give me them old dirty go to hell looks.

Well, sister has been bad sick and I don’t mind waiting on her but she could act nice about it. Guthrie ain’t worth doodly squat at taking care of sick folks and he’s out in the woods working all day anyhow. But child, I have had a time getting Roy and all my younguns off of a morning then rushing up the mountain to Sisters and getting her man and younguns off. It has plum worn me out. And getting our gardens planted, child I have had to do it all. Guthrie and Roy did do the plowing and harrowing, or I would have been melted down to a greasy spot.

I’m a good mind to get sick now that sisters better and let her wait on me hand and foot like I done for her. But child if I did that you would hear Sister caterwauling all the way to China. She would tell me right to my face that I was play acting. Sister is a foxy old girl and you better watch yourself around her. She says she remembers me from way back when I got the belly ache when it was time for the school bus and she don’t let me forget it. Sisters got a memory like a steel trap and she don’t forget nothing. Well, I don’t forget nothing either, but Sister don’t care what I remember. She just runs rough shod right over me.

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Anyways I thought I would tell you about Sister. I knowed y’all would want to know. If I was you, I wouldn’t think of visiting her for a few days. She ain’t good company right now. Shes got a passel of stuff to catch up on. Child, I did my best but one woman can’t keep two houses and gardens without letting some stuff go. Me and Sister’s gonna be right busy for the next week or two, then all of y’all come on up the mountain to see us. I’ll make us a big jug of iced tea.